What Happened...August 1, 2016

It's been so long since I've posted...The holidays, vacations and my grandmothers passing away really effected my journey. I wish I had a really good excuse for it but I don't. I became lazy, I felt as though I was doing really well so I deserved some cheating and it got me to go on a 7 month hiatus!!! I am disappointed in myself, disappointed that the example I have shown my kids has not been a healthy one. I have struggled with body image most of my life but more so since I started having my kids. Putting the needs of other has always come first and I've lost myself in the mix. Comedy, poking fun at myself to others has been my coping mechanism for most my life, thinking that I was not worth anything regardless of me being surrounded by a large, loving family and group of friends.
I became a BeachBody Coach in the hopes it would make me stick to it and realize I had other people looking to me for advice and knowledge but even that didn't work. I was at my wits end until the other day I noticed my little 5 year old daughter laying on the floor doing sit ups and using a hand held weight to do squats. She had been watching a fitness video of her aunt on Facebook on my phone. She said look mommy I am just like Aunt Bekki...wow. It hurt. I mean I was happy she wanted to be healthy like her but man, her seeking that role model figure from someone else cut me deep. Why am I not that positive influence on her? Why am I not leading my daughter into a healthy lifestyle so she can not struggle the same way I have? I could keep asking myself why, why, why or I could make a change to vow that from here on out I will be that person she looks up to...the one that she can seek positive influence from. I want to be her everything and in order to do that I need to work on myself first! (the picture below was taken this day, when she actually got my butt off the couch and on the floor to do sit ups with her).
It was time for a change...I am not saying this change is going to happen overnight or that I am not going to struggle with it for the rest of my life because I will. I just want to take each day as a gift, to not only make myself a better person for ME, but also for my family, friends and those that I can lead into their own journeys to bettering themselves. We have to take it day by day and know we will have slip ups and failures but as long as we can recognize the error and get back on track that's what matters the most. I am hoping by me sharing my Journey of Struggles and Triumph it will keep me accountable and maybe keep you accountable as well.

If I can do this, so can you!!